tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1887051633997000482024-03-13T12:03:10.309-07:00The "A" TeamAllison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.comBlogger23125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-15835861229742951482012-11-14T22:17:00.002-08:002012-11-14T22:17:35.633-08:00Hello November... you surprised me! <h3>
Time Flies </h3>
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Well, I can't believe it's already November! It's been almost a full year since we (suddenly) packed up our things and moved back to Santa Barbara. It's also been a full year since Aiden was diagnosed with transient myeloproliferative disorder (aka transient leukemia), hypothyroidism, and jaundice. At the time, I could have never have thought ahead to where we are now. I could only think day by day. This time last year, everything felt hopeless... Every time we went to the Dr, we felt like we would receive another diagnosis that would place another brick on the wall around our hearts that prevented us from fully loving our son.. as we were scared we would lose him.<br />
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One year later, that brick wall is gone, shattered, and in its place is only love. <br />
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A Time to be Thankful</h3>
This is the first year I think I am fully grasping what it means to be thankful. Our family has gone through a lot in the past 1.5 years only to come out stronger and filled with a great amount of love and hope.<br />
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With this being the 'month of thankfulness', here are a few of the many things I am truly thankful for.<br />
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1. Aiden- I am so thankful that he is (still) in our lives and HEALTHY! He brings so much joy to Adam and my life. Aiden seems to think his sole purpose in life is to laugh and make others laugh and smile too! <br />
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2. Annabelle- While she was not planned, I am thankful for my beautiful baby girl. Through her pregnancy and birth, I learned how strong I truly am. (side note- also thankful for <a href="http://www.birthinginstincts.com/">Dr. Fischbein</a> in making my home birth/vbac desires a reality). She is a wonderfully demanding little girl who is teaching me patience and how to multitask (like how to do EVERYTHING while wearing a baby). Her wrinkly-nosed smiles and coo's make it all worth while.<br />
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3. Adam- He carried this family through a lot over the past year. His near-endless patience and ability to listen has really helped us through such a difficult time. I appreciate his ability to look optimistically toward the future, when all I could see was the difficult present. I appreciate his willingness to be open-minded and supportive in my decision to have a home vbac. But most of all, I appreciate his amazing ability to be a great dad.<br />
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4. My family- I am thankful we now live close to our parents and in-laws, so they can be a part of our children's' lives. (Sorry, Bruce and Ann... I don't have any pictures of you both with the kids... we will need to fix this!)<br />
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5. Our home- We are lucky to have a home. I am thankful we are home owners, but more importantly, I am thankful for a roof over our heads and a warm place to go to sleep at night. There are many people in this economy who are not as lucky.<br />
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6. Being Back in Santa Barbara- While I loved Oregon and still miss all my amazing Oregon friends, I am also thankful to be back in Santa Barbara. The abundance of close-by outdoor activities and great weather has allowed our family to really start enjoying the activities that Adam and I love. Since moving back, we take almost daily walks, hikes, bikes, horseback rides, and just enjoying what Santa Barbara has to offer. I look forward to continuing to teach my children to love the great outdoors in such a beautiful place.<br />
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More Mesa Sunset Walk</div>
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Annabelle's First Official Hike up Cold Springs Trail </div>
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View from the top of Cold Springs</div>
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Cold Springs Again... </div>
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"The" Cold Spring? </div>
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7. Our 4 legged family<br />
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There are so many things to be thankful for, that I cannot post it all without creating a novel of a post... if I haven't done so already. While Thanksgiving itself may be somewhat of a sham of a holiday, I think the idea of being ""thankful" should never go out of season. Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-85338118140409763552012-11-02T08:23:00.000-07:002012-11-02T08:24:46.926-07:00A Halloween full of Holms<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">W<span style="font-size: small;">e a had a gre<span style="font-size: small;">at week full of <span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Halloween</span> festivities! <span style="font-size: small;">Our little family <span style="font-size: small;">of 4 is<span style="font-size: small;"> more fun tha<span style="font-size: small;">n I could ha<span style="font-size: small;">ve imagine. This Halloween <span style="font-size: small;">marked the first major holid<span style="font-size: small;">ay with 2 kids now and I fel<span style="font-size: small;">t as though its time to get a little festive<span style="font-size: small;">. A week ago we went <span style="font-size: small;">to get ou<span style="font-size: small;">r pumpkins with Adam's parents<span style="font-size: small;">, but with 2 little ones, <span style="font-size: small;">it took so long <span style="font-size: small;">to get ou<span style="font-size: small;">t of the house that when <span style="font-size: small;">we did,<span style="font-size: small;"> they both were <span style="font-size: small;">asleep! Oh well!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The Annual <span style="font-size: small;">Messock Family P<span style="font-size: small;">umpkin Car<span style="font-size: small;">ving Contest</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span> </h3>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">The next weekend<span style="font-size: small;"> was the annual Messock family pumpkin carving<span style="font-size: small;"> conte<span style="font-size: small;">st! Every year my mom h<span style="font-size: small;">osts a great <span style="font-size: small;">Pu<span style="font-size: small;">mpkin Carving Party<span style="font-size: small;">. It alwa<span style="font-size: small;">ys a fun <span style="font-size: small;">time to see family<span style="font-size: small;">and family friends. Last year, we <span style="font-size: small;">gave my mom the <span style="font-size: small;">surprise of her life. <span style="font-size: small;">Since Aiden <span style="font-size: small;">w<span style="font-size: small;">as medically f<span style="font-size: small;">ragile after he w<span style="font-size: small;">as born, she never got to hold him. When we finally got some medical clearance with Aiden<span style="font-size: small;">'s <span style="font-size: small;">leukemia, we decid<span style="font-size: small;">ed to get the heck outta dodge and drive down to California<span style="font-size: small;"> in time for the pumpkin carving par<span style="font-size: small;">ty.... and not tell m<span style="font-size: small;">y mom. The goal was to make her cry<span style="font-size: small;"> with joy.. I think we accomplished that. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">This year we knew it would be <span style="font-size: small;">a challenge with 2 babies (pretty much <span style="font-size: small;">EVERYT<span style="font-size: small;">HING is more challenging with 2 babies)<span style="font-size: small;"> but we mana<span style="font-size: small;">g<span style="font-size: small;">ed to have a pretty good time, even if Annabelle<span style="font-size: small;"> wa<span style="font-size: small;">nted to <span style="font-size: small;">be attached to a moving momma th<span style="font-size: small;">e w<span style="font-size: small;">hole time<span style="font-size: small;">. Even Iggy got <span style="font-size: small;">to <span style="font-size: small;">be a part of th<span style="font-size: small;">e party this year<span style="font-size: small;">, <span style="font-size: small;">as another n<span style="font-size: small;">ew memeber t<span style="font-size: small;">o our family. <span style="font-size: small;">We were so excited when Adam took home 3rd place in the pumpkin car<span style="font-size: small;">ving contest!<span style="font-size: small;"> That is a HUGE accomplishment considering <span style="font-size: small;">(almost) every year <span style="font-size: small;">Jen<span style="font-size: small;">nie or one of<span style="font-size: small;"> her arti<span style="font-size: small;">st friends ten<span style="font-size: small;">d to t<span style="font-size: small;">ake home first place<span style="font-size: small;"> with pumpkins that look like some sort of muse<span style="font-size: small;">um art piece. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">Pum<span style="font-size: small;">pkin P<span style="font-size: small;">atch Take <span style="font-size: small;">Two</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></h3>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"> <span style="font-size: small;">Since th<span style="font-size: small;">e two kiddos were totally passed out for the first trip to the pumpkin patch, <span style="font-size: small;">Adr<span style="font-size: small;">ianne (our nan<span style="font-size: small;">ny) an<span style="font-size: small;">d I decided to take the kidd<span style="font-size: small;">os back <span style="font-size: small;">for some <span style="font-size: small;">quality time <span style="font-size: small;">at Lane Farms Pumpkin Patch<span style="font-size: small;"> and <span style="font-size: small;">had a lot of fun!</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">In<span style="font-size: small;">se<span style="font-size: small;">rt Star Wars Theme Song Here</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></h3>
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Even though the kid<span style="font-size: small;">dos are so young, we decided we still wanted to dress up for Halloween. <span style="font-size: small;">S<span style="font-size: small;">ince they ar<span style="font-size: small;">e so young and can<span style="font-size: small;">'t pick their own co<span style="font-size: small;">stumes yet, <span style="font-size: small;">we took <span style="font-size: small;">advantage of the situation and picked the them<span style="font-size: small;">e of Star Wars. Annabelle was Princess Leia, Aiden was Yoda, Adam was <span style="font-size: small;">Luke S<span style="font-size: small;">kywalker, and <span style="font-size: small;">I <span style="font-size: small;">was <span style="font-size: small;">a lady Je<span style="font-size: small;">di (after two kids there is no way <span style="font-size: small;">I was going <span style="font-size: small;">to rock the grown up <span style="font-size: small;">version of princess le<span style="font-size: small;">ia, which didn't involve much clothing<span style="font-size: small;">). <span style="font-size: small;">We only went to a <span style="font-size: small;">few <span style="font-size: small;">close neighbors houses, but it was fun. <span style="font-size: small;">We <span style="font-size: small;">met a nice family who<span style="font-size: small;">se da<span style="font-size: small;">d gre<span style="font-size: small;">w up just 2 houses <span style="font-size: small;">away from us. Their 6 <span style="font-size: small;">or 7 year old son even reco<span style="font-size: small;">gnized Adam as being Luke Skywalker <span style="font-size: small;">training with Yoda on his back<span style="font-size: small;">. </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span><br />
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Looking forward to many more years of HAPPY HALLOWEENS!<br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span 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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-13814160667995395042012-10-31T15:39:00.000-07:002012-11-02T06:12:12.955-07:0031 (days) for 21 (chromosomes) - October is Down Syndrome Awareness MonthIt's taken me a while to finally publish this post. It's now October 31st, Halloween, and it's the last day of Down Syndrome Awareness Month. After going through Annabelle's birth and with some huge strides in Aiden's development over the last month, I spent a lot of time thinking about how much our life has changed since we received Aiden's prenatal diagnosis.
When Aiden was first diagnosed, Adam and I were both devastated. We had so many worries, doubts, concerns,fears and negative feelings surround his diagnosis and future. Over the past year and a half, I have come to realize that those worries quickly dissipated. I feel so terrible that I had those thoughts, but through reading the blogs of other mother's who also have a child with DS, I know I was not alone.<br />
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<h3>
<b>"Irrational" Worries I had while I was still pregnant: </b></h3>
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<b>Every mom wants to be told how cute their baby is. No one will ever tell me that. They will only see the diagnosis, not the baby. </b><br />
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Ok seriously. Check this kiddo out. The problem was never that no one told me I had a cute baby. Every where I went, I had to plan on spending at least an extra 10-20 minutes because EVERYONE would (and still does) stop me to tell me how cute Aiden is. With his charismatic smile and bubbly personality, he draws everyone in. He loves everyone and everyone loves him.<br />
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<b>He will never have any friends, and neither will we. People won't want their kids to be friends with the "disabled" kid and his family. </b><br />
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Since moving back to Santa Barbara, Aiden has made sooo many friends, both adults and kids alike. Through activities, such as Baby Bootcamp Santa Barbara and the Down Syndrome Associate of Santa Barbara, Aiden has more friends than he can count... if he could count at the moment. I have no doubt that as he gets older, his amazing personality will continue to draw people into his presence and will have no shortage of friends! I am soo thankful for all the friends he has made so far. They teach him and me so much about how friends don't count chromosome, they count smiles!<br />
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<b>Will we be able to experience ANY of the typical joys a parent may have: playing together, watching movies together, hiking together? Can we expect ANY of this from him?</b><br />
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Of course! Over the year I've come to realize that he really isn't all that different than his typical peers.<br />
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He loves hiking, just like his parents.<br />
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He loves to go to music class, just like any other little boy (or girl).<br />
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He LOVES to go swimming. Any water will do! Pool, kiddie pool, bath tub, water bottle.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: normal;">And In Conclusion.... </span></h3>
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Over the last year I have learned a lot from Aiden:<br />
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<ul>
<li> I have learned to never underestimate him. He has overcome many physical and developmental challenges. <b> </b>He had a rocky start to his life with surgery, leukemia, jaundice, weight gain issues, but was a fighter through it all. </li>
<li>I have learned that smiles, laughter, friends, and family are more important than tracking 'what percentile' your child is in, or personal accomplishments for that matter. As long as you are happy and have a positive outlook on life, you can overcome a lot of barriers. </li>
<li> Don't care what others think. I don't know if other people know by looking at him that he has down syndrome, and I don't care. If they can't see past the diagnosis and see what an amazing little boy he is, that is their loss. </li>
</ul>
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Most of all, I have learned to love. I love my son more than anything in this world and having him has made me love my husband more. Together, we created this amazing little being who has changed our lives. No matter how difficult things are, Aiden always manages to make us smile and laugh. That's what is really important in life. <br />
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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-91752944778813819922012-10-23T13:27:00.000-07:002012-11-02T06:25:35.844-07:00Welcome to the 4th Trimester<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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I had my 6 week post partum appointment today! My how time flies! It's been a rough 6 weeks, but we made it through and it's getting easier every day. I felt as though I had been fairly well prepared, especially after we had gone through with Aiden. Boy, was I mistaken! Annabelle, my sweet little girl, decided that 41 weeks was not long enough during my pregnancy. Welcome to the 4th Trimester!
I am not sure if it was because Aiden immediately went to the NICU and Annabelle hasn't been apart from me since she was conceived, but my sweet little girl is a clingy, fussy, little monkey! I have very rarely been able to get her to sleep when she isn't attached to someone. The need to be close to momma is definitely understandable to me, but I don't think Aiden understands. He still wants to be attached to momma as well! In addition to wanting to be worn 24/7, she has her cranky hours from 6-10pm where she wants to be worn, nursed every hour, and walked around the block! It took 4 week to figure out this routine. Until then she would relentlessly cry till she turned beet red and could barely catch her breathe. We tried swaddling. We tried pacifiers (HATES THEM!). We tried warm baths. Lots of cuddles. Rocking. Being worn. Only thing that worked was walking around the block, nurse, back in the stretchy front wrap, and around the block again until 10 pm. I am happy my little girl is content and happy, but boy is momma tired!
Here is a slideshow of photos from the last 6 weeks. I can't believe how much she has grown and changed! She is almost 13 pounds already!
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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-50174782242146964772012-10-01T13:26:00.000-07:002012-11-02T06:25:46.805-07:00Annabelle's Less-Than-Newborn Photos<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m8SvSsGZyuk/UJPJFruz9oI/AAAAAAAAAjA/F4HOKy_YQlE/s1600/2012-10-13+14.28.39.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="142" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m8SvSsGZyuk/UJPJFruz9oI/AAAAAAAAAjA/F4HOKy_YQlE/s200/2012-10-13+14.28.39.jpg" width="200" /></a></div>
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Due to the ridiculously high cost of most newborn photographers in Santa Barbara, I was unable to find an affordable newborn photographer until Annabelle was 3 weeks old. Better late than never? She was pretty cranky that day and didn't get many good photos, but here they are!
<embed flashvars="host=picasaweb.google.com&captions=1&hl=en_US&feat=flashalbum&RGB=0x000000&feed=https%3A%2F%2Fpicasaweb.google.com%2Fdata%2Ffeed%2Fapi%2Fuser%2F110568246507520793682%2Falbumid%2F5805571654749803169%3Falt%3Drss%26kind%3Dphoto%26authkey%3DGv1sRgCPS94aLL1JvyNA%26hl%3Den_US" height="400" pluginspage="http://www.macromedia.com/go/getflashplayer" src="https://picasaweb.google.com/s/c/bin/slideshow.swf" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" width="600"></embed>Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-23726737860899896172012-09-25T15:43:00.000-07:002012-11-02T18:20:20.201-07:00A VBAC Victory- Post Partum Thoughts<h3>
<b>Surprise! Your pregnant... again!</b> </h3>
When I unexpected found myself pregnant with Annabelle, I didn't know what to do. We had spent so much time just taking care of Aiden, we had not given much thought to how to prevent another pregnancy. So when that pregnancy test came up positive at 3am after spending an entire night puking, I was at a loss. Let's just say the first words out of my word started with "F" and it wasn't "f for fun!". While we did eventually want to try for another kiddo, but the last year of our lives was complete chaos. Between the high risk pregnancy with Aiden, to his DS diagnosis, moving from Portland, OR back home to Santa Barbara, CA only 2 weeks after deciding to move, and all the chaos that had happened with our business over the last year, I didn't feel as though I was in any position to go through another pregnancy.<br />
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I had some time to sort my thoughts, as I lay on the bathroom floor for a few hours worshiping the porcelain throne. I knew that "options" existed, but I couldn't bring myself to even contemplate it. While I am not religious, I do believe things happen for a reason. I didn't know it yet, but there was a reason this baby came at this time.<br />
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</h3>
<h3>
<b>But don't you WANT a c-section???</b></h3>
I met with the kaiser ob the following week and had the dating ultrasound. I was absolutely shocked to find out I was already 12 weeks along! I was already almost out of the first trimester before I really even knew I was pregnant! Then came the bad news.<br />
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Dr: "So, at our next appointment, we will go ahead and schedule your c-section date."<br />
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Me: "Huh? Can't I try for a vbac?"<br />
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Dr: "No, the hospital won't allow it."<br />
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Me: "Which hospital will allow it?"<br />
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Dr: "None. But you will really like a scheduled c-section. It makes it so easy. Im sure your first c-section was pretty rough but it is so much easier the second time around when it is scheduled. "<br />
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Me: "No I wont".<br />
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Dr: "All my patients have had great experiences with repeat c-sections."<br />
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Me:"I'm sure you mean well, but your not going to succeed in convincing me that a repeat c-section is exciting and great."<br />
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He spent the next 10 minutes repeating the same things over and over, trying to convince me that this is what I wanted and getting no where. We finally decided to end our appointment and head for home.<br />
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Once at home, I did some research on the internet and found that both Santa Barbara and Ventura banned vbacs (vaginal birth after cesarean). The closest place I could try was UCLA. I figured I didn't have a choice but to have a repeat c-section, but I didn't have to be happy about it.<br />
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<h3>
<b>Does Birth Choice even exist?</b></h3>
A week or two later I made an appointment with a doctor at the sansum Santa Barbara OB clinic, once our insurance switch had gone through. I met with my new doctor, who seemed very nice and supportive and tried to convince myself that the repeat c-section wasn't so bad. I tried very hard to convince myself, but I felt as though my heart had been crushed. Ever since I watched the "Business of Being Born," I had developed a strong desire for a natural home birth. It just made sense to me. I had spent the the last 5 years of my life eating a healthy diet and relying on alternative medicine to bring me to a state of good health. I wanted to bring a child into the world the natural way, the way I wanted to, without unnecessary and harmful interventions. <br />
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I decided that it wouldn't hurt to make a few additional phone calls to see if anyone knew of any midwives who would do a vbac. I called about 6-7 midwives and each apologized profusely for not being able to help me (for fear they would lose their back up OB, insurance... career), but each recommended me to the same person, <a href="http://www.birthinginstincts.com/">Dr. Fischbein</a>. I called Dr. Fischbein's office and scheduled a consultation. <br />
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I felt very encouraged after appointment with Dr. Fischbein. He spent an hour going over my previous pregnancy and went over the risks and benefits of both a vbac and repeat c-section. He explained my options, and even though I was at a slightly higher risk of uterine rupture due to the short time between pregnancies, if I was interested, he would take me on as a client for a home vbac. <br />
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Adam and I took all the information we were given and discussed how we wanted to move forward on the drive home. Adam felt confident in Dr. Fischbein's skill and extensive knowledge and told me that he would support me if this is the choice I wanted to make.<br />
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<h3>
Do you have a death wish?</h3>
About a week after my appointment with Dr. Fischbein, I had another appointment with my sansum ob. After waiting for a full hour for my appointment, the doctor rushed in without much of a hello. He quickly shot of questions about I hadn't done any further genetic testing in this pregnancy and why did I refuse to get a blood panel done or the 20 week ultrasound. I politely responded that I had made it clear my last appointment that I didn't want to do any further genetic test, and that I had completed the blood work and the ultrasound, which he should have the paper work for. He briskly attempted to find fetal heart tones with the doppler, using far too much pressure and got frustrated after a couple of seconds when he couldn't find it. Once he found it, he said everything is great and asked if I had any questions. I told him I was more than likely going to have a home vbac. He turned beet red, elevated his voice and asked if I "had a death wish for myself and the baby." He then rambled on for about 10 minutes about how dangerous it was using false facts and stated how the American College of Obstetrics and Gynecology (ACOG) was highly against vbacs (which they aren't). I knew for sure at that point I wanted to go with Dr. Fischbein.<br />
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<h3>
Victory</h3>
The births of Aiden and Annabelle are two very special moments in my life. Aiden, for being my first baby, and the hardships we overcame. He was never expected to make it past 34 weeks gestation, only to make it to 38, and then to come through his medical problems as quickly as he did. Annabelle, for the victory of finally having the birth experience I didn't know I was capable of. I am proud of myself for conquering my fears and the pain of both experiences.<br />
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I am forever grateful for my home birth OB, <a href="http://birthinginstincts.com/">Dr. Fischbein</a>, for his willingness to take on "high risk" cases (VBAC, twin, breech, etc), such as myself. If it wasn't for him, I would have never been able to know that a birth experience can be a positive one. Going through Annabelle's birth was very therapeutic after what I had been through with Aiden; an experience I will never forget.<br />
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<h3>
Birth Choice </h3>
For me, going through a natural home birth, surrounded by supportive
professionals and my wonderful husband, was the most empowering moment
of my life. While a home vbac, home birth, or hospital vbac, may not be
the right
choice for every woman who has gone through a c-section, it should be a
choice.<br />
<br />
Some women who have gone through traumatic
labors or deliveries, only to end up with a c-section, and may find it more
healing to have a scheduled repeat c-section. For me, going through Annabelle's birth, managing and experiencing contractions, labor, and
pushing and then to actually see my baby being born, is an experience every
woman should have access to. The point is, there should be a choice. Her choice. <br />
<br />
<b> </b>Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-55695175229741831542012-09-11T20:30:00.000-07:002012-10-23T21:08:13.000-07:00The Home VBAC of Baby Annabelle<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Note: to read the story of my c-section with my son, click <a href="http://theateam-holms.blogspot.com/2011/08/holding-our-breath-aidens-birth-story.html">h<span style="font-size: small;">ere</span></a>. </span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Baby Annabelle’s HBAC (Home Birth After Cesarian) Birth Story</span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">The weekend had started out a bit rough. After feeling run
down all week, I came down with a cold (runny nose, sore throat, fever, achy, completely exhausted) on
Friday, September 7th. This also happened to be Adam and my dad's birthday. I felt terrible! At this point I was 40.5 weeks along and I
was terrified that I would go into labor while I was sick. My biggest worry was that I would not have the strength to get through labor and end up with a c-section. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">On Sunday, September 9<sup>th</sup>,
I felt a little bit better. We decided to take a trip to Sears to get some
bigger clothes for Aiden. I felt very exhausted and dazed, but walking around made me feel a bit better. We got home about 4pm and I started
to feel a little crampy, so I drank some water and rested a bit on the couch.
By 6 pm, the cramping felt a little more serious and regular. I had been having a lot
of false labor the past few weeks, so I didn’t put much thought into it. Just
in case, I did all the laundry, packed my emergency hospital bag, and did some
last minute preparations for the home birth. While doing
all this, I did notice a few things: </span></div>
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<br />
<ul style="text-align: justify;">
<li><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Ann, my MIL, told me the day before she gave
birth she had a surge of cleaning energy… this sure felt like a surge of energy
I didn’t have before and it did go into cleaning. </span></li>
</ul>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: justify;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">The Annabelle-y was REALLY REALLY low. I
actually took a photo on Saturday, one of the few preggy belly photos I
allowed myself to be in. After being pregnant for 2 years, I felt huge, out of
shape, and less-than-glowing. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"> Taken on 9-8-12, Saturday, the day before labor started. </span></div>
<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6a8RXPAXBf0/UGkNI5JtwmI/AAAAAAAAAEs/hx8lzwTvCOI/s1600/2012-09-08+19.53.27.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-6a8RXPAXBf0/UGkNI5JtwmI/AAAAAAAAAEs/hx8lzwTvCOI/s320/2012-09-08+19.53.27.jpg" width="240" /></a></span></div>
<ul>
<li style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">I just had that “feeling” something was
different. </span></li>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Once we had eaten dinner, I decided to take it easy so I can
hopefully get some sleep. The contractions required me to stop and think about
them, but I wouldn’t have called them painful at this point. I texted my
awesome doula, Jennifer, and she suggested wine/bath/sleep<u>.</u> I hadn’t
had a glass of wine in almost 2 years, so I happily obliged with a glass from the bottle I had
in the pantry for just an occasion. I had a very small glass of wine, and
settled down to watch tv with Adam and Aiden. I noticed the contractions getting
stronger and more regular through the night, but didn’t want to contact Dr.
Fischbein (my home birth OB) yet as I had been having a lot of what felt like
real contractions (prodromal labor) over the last few weeks and didn’t want to
give false alarm until I figured out if it was real labor this time. Around 10 pm, I went to bed to try to get
what sleep I could, as I had a feeling I wasn’t going to pregnant
much longer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">I didn’t get much sleep that night. I was able to rest
between contractions and stay laying down, but definitely didn’t sleep through
them. I got up and walked around the house a couple times. Starting at around
4am the contractions started to get strong enough where I had to get up
on all fours and vocalize through them. I got up and made a small
snack and waiting until a decent hour to call Dr. Fischbein. At 6:30 am, I
called him and let him know I had been having contractions through the night. A this point, the contractions were still 7-10 minutes apart, but were getting
stronger. At 8 am our nanny, Adrianne, showed up and took over little dude for
a few hours. He was one cranky little dude! He had been battling a cold and
getting 3 teeth simultaneously so it was a bit of a rough morning. While
Adrianne was here, I decided the best thing for me to do was to keep busy and
get a few things done around the house. I shipped about 7 Pretty Pony orders,
cleaned the guinea pigs, fed the lizards, emptied the dishwasher, finished the
laundry, and finished packing my emergency hospital bag. Dr. F checked in via
text every 2 hours for the update. My contractions stayed at a steady 7-10 minutes apart
through the morning.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">At noon, Adrianne took off for a dr’s apt for the day, and
Adam took over Aiden duties. Adam called his parents for some additional help, should I go
into more active labor. Aiden had other plans in mind. He SCREAMED
relentlessly with his grandparents and even Adam, and seemed to only want me.
Adam kept bringing him in to see me, but I think it did more harm than good. I know he is very sensitive to my emotions and he was picking up on my labor pain.
</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">At about 4pm, after almost 24
hours with no change, I was starting to panic. I texted the doctor and doula
and both said I needed to make sure I was keeping my mind clear. With that in mind, I thought it would be good
for me to get out of the house and go for a walk. First attempt, Aiden was in
his cool car my parents bought him for his birthday. EPIC FAIL! We didn’t even
make it past the driveway before he screamed bloody murder. Second attempt was
in the stroller and again, we didn’t make it past our sidewalk before he
started screaming. At this point, I just wanted away from it all! I screamed,
“Im going for a damn walk, if I have to go by myself." So, I left for a walk by myself for about a mile around my block. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">I went for the best
45 minute walk, stopping or slowing to a waddle/sway each time
I had a contraction. On my way, I met a nice family sitting on their front
lawn who asked me when I was going to have the baby and I told them, “It better be tonight!”
The mom got very excited and then I got a contraction and
starting waddling on the sidewalk in front of their house. She got really
excited and said, “Wait, are you in labor right now!?!?!?” and I nodded my head because it was hard to talk during contractions
and they wished me good luck. When I was almost home, I met another woman,
Lucy, who was out walking her cute older lab. The lab immediately went to my
side and inched his head under my hand. The woman asked how far along I am, and
I told her I was 41 weeks and in labor now. She told me she used
to be an L&D nurse and was very interested to hear I was planning a home vbac. I ended up seeing her again 2
weeks later and was very excited to hear everything had gone well. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">By the time I got home, the contractions seemed to disappear
altogether. I panicked at first, but thought I could maybe get some sleep. Eventually, I would have the baby. I locked myself into the formal
living room, turned on “The Ellen Show” and bounced on my (pink) exercise ball.
After about 30 minutes, I noticed the contractions seemed to return with a
vengeance. I started timing them again using the app on my phone. They were 4
to 5 minutes apart. Another 10 minutes went by and I realized I had no idea
what was happening on the Ellen Show and could not focus my attention on it. I
was finally entering Labor Land!!!! I texted Dr. F and my doula and both said
they would be there around 8-9pm. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Jennifer, my doula, showed up around 8 pm. I was deep into
labor land at this point. It felt like I was high or drunk. I could hear and sense
everything going on around me, but had a hard time opening my eyes and focusing
on it. Jennifer came and sat with me, turned the timer off on my phone. I told
her I knew my labor was real when I started throwing up about an hour ago and she thought that was pretty hilarious. She
got my water bottle, and massaged my back and legs during and between
contractions. Adam at the time was busy trying to put
a VERY cranky Aiden to bed, so I was thankful for the company and support. The contractions
were not painful, just intense and powerful. I found the most comfortable
position for me during contractions was leaning over the top of the couch and
alternating bending my knees. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">At about 10pm, Dr. Fischbein and his midwife, Karni, showed
up. I was very spacy at this point and had a hard time opening my eyes up and
didn’t want to stop bouncing on the birth ball between contractions. Dr. F
checked my BP, the heartbeat on Annabelle, and then started an IV line to give
me a dose of antibiotics, as I showed up Group Beta Strep positive a few weeks
ago. By the time they were done, my
contractions spaced out a bit because of the distraction and they encouraged me
to go for another walk. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">At about 11pm, Adam, Jennifer and I went for another walk around
the block. At the beginning, I was able to walk fairly briskly, determined to
get labor moving. About 20 minutes in, contractions got really strong. I wouldn’t
say painful yet, just really strong. I had to lean onto Adam’s back and moan
and sway while my doula rubbed my back and timed the contractions. About a
block away from my house, I felt like I couldn’t make it. I felt a lot of
pressure which was making it hard to walk and could barely go 5 feet before
another contraction would strike again. Im sure we made quite a sight moaning through the neighborhood. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">We finally made it home (HOORAH!) and I immediately went to
bathroom. I was happy to find out I had a little bloody show. That had to indicate SOME sort of progress! Dr. F listened to Annabelle’s HR and it all seemed well, so they let me do what
I wanted for a while. Adam and I spent some time in the bedroom working through
contractions while Jennifer took a break. The contractions continued to
increase in intensity to the point where I started getting very vocal. I really
wanted some relief so I started drawing a bath. Jennifer came bounding in and
said I should probably get checked before I get in to make sure I progressed
enough, otherwise the bath could slow labor down. Dr. F came in and I moved to
the bed for my first cervical check. I was 6 between contractions, 7 during a
contraction with my water bag still intact. I was told I was free to take a
bath as needed, as I seemed to be moving along pretty quickly at this point. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Im guessing I spent about 2 hours in the bathtub. I made it to 8, 9 during
contractions but seemed to stall out at this point. Dr. F offered to break my
bag. I started panicking. I had felt stuck for the last bit of labor, like I was
pushing against a bowling ball and not making any progress. I knew that by breaking my bag,
things were going to get intense. I was scared. I knew that there was only one way to end labor, and by breaking my water, it would be coming much quicker. Until then,
contractions were very strong, but manageable, and I worried how I would manage more intense contractions. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">At about 2 or 3 am, Dr F broke my water and I had the MOST
INTENSE CONTRACTION of the entire labor. I started screaming and arched my back off the bed. I rolled onto
my side, unable to stand it on my back. Seriously how does ANYONE labor on
their back in a hospital… I couldn’t stand it for even a few seconds during my
entire labor process, even right from the beginning. Jennifer and Adam were in front of me, holding my hands
and helping coach my breathing through the contraction (it felt like the
longest ever!). Karni sat behind me whispered comforting
words in my ears. After a few seconds I was able to finally relax and calm
down once the contraction passed.I asked if the water was clear, and it was and I breathed a huge sigh of relief. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">I was allowed to get back in the tub, were I stayed for the
next hour… the final bit of transition. These were intense
contractions. I would (finally) call them painful at this point. I vomited
after many of them. I cried a bit, and told them I didn’t think I could do it. Typical reaction during transition, from what I've read. We
talked about this afterward- whether they ever thought I couldn’t and
needed to transfer. They said I wasn’t saying it with enough determination.
Looking back, I knew I didn’t want to transfer. I was more scared of what was
to come. I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. Jennifer and
the whole team reminded me that there I needed to face the fear and give in to
it and allow myself to move forward. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">After a certain amount of time in the tub, I felt like I couldn’t
cool down and the heat was making me dizzy and really nauseated, even with
cool cloths on my head and cooling the water down. Jennifer suggested a
position change and I didn’t think I could make it from our bath to the bedroom, so we compromised with making it to the toilet. Dr F came in and
wanted to check my progress and was able to do so while I was sitting on the
toilet. I was complete except for a small section that was
swelling and stuck. Dr F helped inch the cervix up and over (not fun). After laboring on the toilet for a while, my butt and legs were starting to hurt from the hard toilet seat. We decided it would be best to get me to move to my bed for the "final push." It took a while to convince me
to do so. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">When I finally made it to the bed, it was time to get down
to business. Dr. F, Karni, Jennifer, and Adam all coached me through the
pushing contractions. At some point, I think Dr F told me it looked like she big, but totally birthable. This scared me but I felt encouraged
when he told me that I could do it. I was warned ahead of time by the
doula that because Im athletic and an equestrian, I would most likely
tear because I have over developed musculature. He also said he wouldn’t do an episiotomy...
Just the mention of the word made me determine to push this baby out asap so we
wouldn’t have to come to an episiotomy or vacuum delivery. I trusted his opini<span style="font-size: small;">on and it gave me the strength and determinati<span style="font-size: small;">on to know that this <span style="font-size: small;">really was something I could and WAS doing<span style="font-size: small;">. </span></span></span></span></span>Before I knew it, I
got into a decent pushing rhythm. <span style="font-size: small;">S<span style="font-size: small;">ome contractions seemed more intense than other<span style="font-size: small;">. I think I yelled at everyone a few times when I felt a contraction starting<span style="font-size: small;">, more out of fear than needing attention. </span></span></span></span>After what felt like about a dozen pushing contractions and feeling like I was getting no where, Dr F gave me instructions that when her head came out, that I
needed to stop pushing so he could rotate her and check for the cord around her neck. I was amazed! I couldn’t believe
I was that close to being done! Once her head was out, I was able to grab
Annabelle under her arms and pull her out the rest of the way. I pushed my baby
girl out in 50 minutes from the time I was started pushing. Born on 9/11/12 at 4:10am. At the moment she was born, while I don<span style="font-size: small;">'t really re<span style="font-size: small;">member much <span style="font-size: small;">about that moment as I was so foc<span style="font-size: small;">used on <span style="font-size: small;">getting the baby out, I wa<span style="font-size: small;">s told that</span></span></span></span></span></span> I screamed at the top of my lungs, “I did it! I did it! I did it! There
is a baby on me!” She was so beautiful and I was soooo tired. </div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">5 Minutes after she was born- I swear I thought I was smiling but I guess I just didnt have the energy after 36 hours of labor, and not getting any sleep the 2 days before because I was sick. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">After she was delivered I noticed, Dr. F and Karni looking concerned. Adam had gone to check on Aiden, who had woken up at some point
and to let Ann and Bruce (who showed up to help with Aiden) know I had the baby. They seemed a little frantic in trying to get him to come in and cut the cord. I
guess I was bleeding fairly heavily. While my plan was to wait until the cord
stopped pulsing to cut it and to let the placenta deliver on its own, because
of the bleeding, they needed to do it right away. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">The next hour Adam and I were left alone to spend time with our new addition to our family. Jennifer brought us in some eggs and toast (best eggs and toast I've ever tasted). Afterwards, Dr F came in and stitched me up (REALLY NOT FUN!) and had to manually remove some
clots (even worse!). Annabelle was weighed and checked. She was 8 lbs 15 ounces
AFTER she had taken a giant poop (on me), so I count it as birthing a 9 lb baby. She
had 9s on her APGARs. I was helped to take a shower and back into bed and put
on strict bedrest for 2 days because of the blood loss. We all fell asleep
shortly after that. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Adam holding his daughter for the first time while I was put back together </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif; font-size: small;">Im so happy I finally got the birth experience I wanted. I am so thankful fo<span style="font-size: small;">r the amazing support from <span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Fischbein, Karni, <span style="font-size: small;">and Jennifer<span style="font-size: small;">.<span style="font-size: small;"> I can't believ<span style="font-size: small;">e the journey I have been on the last <span style="font-size: small;">2 years between going through such a difficult pregnancy with Ai<span style="font-size: small;">den and then again to have <span style="font-size: small;">such a positive birth experience with Annabelle. I am thankful for <span style="font-size: small;">Dr. Fischbein<span style="font-size: small;">, <span style="font-size: small;">for his willingness to <span style="font-size: small;">not <span style="font-size: small;">be <span style="font-size: small;">the only vbac provider in t<span style="font-size: small;">he area, but also to fight for <span style="font-size: small;">a wom<span style="font-size: small;">an<span style="font-size: small;">'s a<span style="font-size: small;">bility to<span style="font-size: small;"> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span>have a choice in how she chooses to birth. It was long and intense, but I would do it again in a heartbeat. Maybe we will do it again, but let's wait a few years this time before we even think about it! </div>
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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-49373359280293733162011-11-30T17:19:00.000-08:002012-10-27T09:03:40.865-07:00Pile it higher and deeper - Aiden's post NICU health battleThough he was allowed to come home with us, we were given some unsettling news that Aiden's platelet levels were extremely low. While platelet levels may sometimes drop in newborns, Aiden was past the phase where they would usually see such a drop, and his levels were much lower than they would have expected. We were released with strict orders to see his pediatrician the next day after we went home.<br />
<br />
After a week and repeated blood tests, the concern for Aiden's hematological health increased. His platelets continued to drop, abnormal white blood cells were found, and his pediatrician didn't know what to make of it. I could tell by the seriousness and gravity of her voice, that this was not a good sign. In addition to the plummeting blood levels, Aiden also started showing signs of jaundice. This was not the "typical baby jaundice" but they were concerned there was also a problem with Aiden's liver. Last but not least, his thyroid levels were off and would need to start medication ASAP to regulate his thyroid levels. <br />
<br />
I was in complete shock. Once we got over the initial shock during my pregnancy that my son would need to have surgery and a lengthy NICU stay, we held on to the belief that if we could just get through surgery everything would start to get better. Now we weren't sure if he would make it to his first birthday. It seemed as though his body was failing him. Emotionally, Adam and I were both devastated, but found comfort in each other. It was amazing how through all we had been through, we had grown much closer together. There was no one else who could possibly understand what each of us was going through. <br />
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Through all this, Aiden seemed the picture of health. He was active, smiled, and to the lay person, just a typical baby. <br />
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It took a long 4 weeks until we were able to finally see the pediatric hematologist at <a href="http://www.ohsu.edu/xd/health/services/doernbecher/">OHSU Doernbecher</a>. He came in with a smile and the first thing out of his mouth was, "He has <a href="http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/10403079">transient myeloproliferative disorder</a>. I'm not worried... neither should you be." We sat there with our mouths hanging open. We had no idea what this disorder was and what it meant for our son. The Dr. spent the next 15 minutes explaining the disorder. Its a rare disorder only affecting babies with down syndrome. Basically, the blood levels do a sort of roller coaster ride with levels fluctuating up and down each week. In 75% of babies with TMD, the condition resolves itself. In 25% of the cases, further treatment (usually chemo) is needed but is high treatable.<br />
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We felt as though we could breathe a sigh of relief. For the last month, we had no answers as to what was going on and whether he would ever live to his first birthday. I think both Adam and I had put up a wall around our heart. We loved Aiden so much, but held back a little because we didn't know if this amazing little boy would live. Now we know that the chances were good that he would.<br />
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For the first three months of his life, we had a lot of scares and false alarms over whether Aiden would have to undergo treatment. Platelet levels rose, just as white blood cells dropped. Finally, in December, Aiden's levels began to even out and started to get "normal" blood cell counts.<br />
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Its hard to really describe what he had gone through from the time we learned of Aiden's prenatal duodenal atresia diagnosis, to the time when we were finally getting through the worst of Aiden's medical problems to a (near) clean bill of health. There were times I felt like I was being punished for something, like this was something we deserved. We had waited 5 years after we got married before we tried for a baby; we wanted to make sure we had all our ducks in a row. We had a booming business, bought a nice house in a great neighborhood , and I had gotten through a lot of medical/dental problems of my own. To feel as though we failed at something that we had waited so long for could possibly be taken away, took a heavy emotional toll on both Adam and myself. <br />
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But we made it through, and most importantly, we made it through as a family.<br />
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<br />Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-57383835116125843202011-10-01T04:56:00.000-07:002012-11-02T06:28:24.490-07:00Aiden's Newborn Photo-palooza<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-11577438349648496582011-09-26T20:32:00.000-07:002012-10-26T16:16:20.925-07:0019 days in the hole (well.. NICU)Again, I am writing this in October 2012.. carefully trying to put together my memories from this time and onto paper (well, screen).<br />
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Due to breathing problems Aiden experienced after his birth, surgery was delayed for 5 days following his birth. On Monday, August 29th, Aiden finally had his surgery. In the days leading up to surgery, I spent as much time as possible in the NICU and got in as much skin to skin time as he would tolerate.<br />
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Daddy holding his on for the first time<br />
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Night before surgery<br />
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Cuddles<br />
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Little baby fuzz head<br />
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When Monday rolled around I felt mentally numb. I had already fallen in love so hard with my little boy, and now I was scared I could lose him. While the surgery was relatively safe, we didn't know the severity of the problem that was causing the blockage. Best case scenario they could just snip out the blockage and connect the two ends together and keep the surgery arthroscopic (with tiny tiny incisions). Worst case scenario, there was another organ wrapped around that portion of the stomach and major open surgery with a major incision would be needed, along with a much longer recovery.<br />
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The next 5 hours during his surgery were painfully slow. We did receive updates about every 1.5-2 hours, but the time in between was difficult. Even though I was tired and sore from surgery, I paced the waiting room and wanted to walk around the hospital. <br />
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Finally his surgery was over and we were allowed to briefly see our son, though he was heavily medicated.<br />
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Day after surgery. Poor little guy seemed so lifeless and swollen. I didnt recognize him anymore because his face was so swollen. <br />
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Two days post op... even more swollen<br />
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Concerned daddy looking over his little boy<br />
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After a week of not being able to hold our little boy anymore, Aiden begun his journey to recovering and attempting to eat for the first time. Up until this point, he had been fed intravenously through a IV inserted up his leg and into his abdomen. He had never taken any milk. I had been faithfully pumping ever 2 hours, as I felt like it was the only thing I could actually do at this point to eventually help my son.<br />
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The doctors needed to wait until there was no more output from the tube inserted into Aidens stomach to pump out the accumulating stomach acids (what can't go down, must go up). Once there was no more output from the tube, it was a sign that Aiden's intestines were slowly starting to move and the acid was going down the intestines.<br />
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Look Ma! No tube!<br />
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They started Aiden out on the first drops of colostrum I had pumped and saved. After a week of steady improvement, we started to look forward to the day when Aiden would come home. After 19 days in the NICU, he was finally ready to head home!!! <br />
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<br />Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-75713155044806660762011-08-24T18:21:00.000-07:002012-10-19T21:40:39.802-07:00Holding our breath- Aiden's "Birth" Story<div style="text-align: justify;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Its now October 2012, and after revising baby Annabelle's birth story, I realized I never wrote one for Aiden. While I updated FB more often than I should have with the story of Aiden's rocky start, one of my recent goals is to keep a good record of our family on this blog. What better place to start than the past with Aiden's birth (did life exist before kids)?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Holding Our Breath- Welcoming Baby Aiden Into this World</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Why did I title this post "Holding Our Breath"? Well, ever since Aiden's diagnosis of duodenal atresia and down syndrome, I felt like we were holding our breath for the next three months waiting for his arrival. The first 5 months of the pregnancy, like any other pregnancy, we was
full of excitement at the thought of our first child. While there is
always a little worry about something going wrong, for the most part, we
brushed it off as typical new parent anxiety. When we found out about Aiden's medical problem and diagnosis, everything changed. Starting at 28 weeks, I was in constant pre-term labor that had to be managed with medication and results in more trips to the Dr and hospital than anyone should have in their entire life.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Initially, they didn't expect me to stay pregnant past 34 weeks, or should I say our goal was to keep me pregnant to 34 weeks. After 3 amniotic fluid reductions, totalling 6.5 Liters (yes, liters) for the pregnancy, I had finally made it past 36 weeks. Our Dr at this point said they would not take any extra-ordinary measures to stop labor and my bedrest restrictions were lifted, being told only to "take it easy". At 37 weeks, Aiden was still double footling breech and my fluid was still very high. Our Dr decided that at 38 weeks, it would be best if we tried a version (manually turn Aiden so he is head down) and attempt an induction. If they failed to turn him around, I would have a c-section. In my head, I knew the version wouldn't work. It wasn't that I was being a pessimist, but I knew with all the fluid I had, and the fact that he had NEVER maneuvered head down, that it just wasn't going to happen. I did though feel better going into a c-section knowing that I "did everything I could" to try and have a vaginal birth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The date was set for August 24th. While my regular perinatologist was not available that week, another perinatologist, who I had worked with a few times and was really nice, was supposed to be on duty for my version/induction/c-section. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Once a date had been set, my parents decided to fly up for the birth and to help out. On August 24th, we all made the 40 minute trek across Portland to Providence St. Vincent hospital, which had a highly specialized NICU team. I checked in around 1 pm. The wing was almost completely empty, except for me. Shortly after, an IV was started and I was given a medication to stop contractions, which could interfere with the version. At that time I was told the perinatologist I was expecting was not there, and that a different OB was assigned to my case. I had met him a few times when I had been admitted for observation, but I didn't really know him and he wasn't very familiar with my case. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The version was very painful. Any woman who has been pregnant knows that any pressure on her belly isnt very comfortable. With 4 times the amniotic fluid I should have and 2 doctors putting their weight into my belly trying to find some sort of body part to maneuver was torture. After about 10 minutes of an attempted version, Aiden started showing signs of stress and decelerated heart rate and it was decided I would go straight to a c-section.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Right before the c-section, getting the spiel on what to expect. Me, pretty gosh darn scared.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At no time during the process of getting ready for the c-section was I "excited" about having a baby and meeting my son. I was consumed with fear and worry for my sons health. To be honest, I was scared I wouldn't love him when I met him, that I would only see the "disability" and not just the fact that this was our little boy we had been fighting for for 8.5 months.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I was promptly wheeled into the OR where I was given a spinal. The spinal insertion was not so bad, but I wasn't in labor, as many women are. My legs quickly went numb and heavy and I was prepped for surgery. Once the drape went up in front of face, I really started to get scared. Its a really scary feeling, feeling so out of control of what is happening "below the drape".</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My very kind nurse anesthesiologist talked me through everything going on but once I was in the OR, neither of the two doctors working on me ever spoke a word to me. They never told me when they made the first incision. What felt like 2 minutes later, they told Adam to get the camera ready. I asked the nurse, "Wait, they already started?" A minute later I could the feel the pressure of them pulling Aiden out, and Adam busily snapped pictures of him emerging. Then it was quiet and everyone got busy. I could hear them suctioning and Aiden gasping. The next thing I saw was Aiden's purple butt leaving the room. Ahead of time, Adam and I discussed that he was to follow Aiden no matter what happened. So I was left alone. I never got to see the son I had been carrying for 8.5 months and didn't know yet if I would instantly "fall in love" with him, as everyone told me I would.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Purple Aiden leaving the room </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Aiden was taken into an adjoining room to be cared for by the NICU team. What I didnt know is that he did much better after just a few short minutes.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">These pictures were the first I ever saw of my son... through a tiny camera viewing screen when Adam came back to my room, before I ever allowed to see Aiden in person. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Aiden's belly getting drained of excess fluid </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">While I was getting put back together, no one gave me an update on Aiden. I kept asking over and over again and everyone seemed to busy to care or even respond to my questions. The doctors were fielding messages via speakerphone about other patients and creating their schedule for the afternoon. No one told me congratulations. My nurse anesthesiologist, who maybe felt bad for my situation, seemed to be keeping as busy as she could with other tasks and avoiding me as well. I have never felt so alone. Its hard to explain how empty and alone you feel after having your baby removed from you and being left baby-less and with no company behind a cold blue sheet.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">After the surgery was over, I was taken back to my original room to recover for a few hours. I was re-united with my kind nurse, who called the NICU team to try and arrange a time to meet my son for the first time. Two hours later they wheeled my ENTIRE HOSPITAL BED down 2 stories to the intensive NICU floor, where I finally got to meet my son for the first time.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It was love at first site.......</span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I spent the following 2 days in the tiniest of recovery rooms. I feel lucky that I had met a few AMAZING WONDERFUL nurses who "mothered" me through the next few days. While I had a lot of hormones and a "birth high", I still found myself crying and having a very difficult time emotionally. Being in a recovery room, surrounded by other mothers who get to spend as much time with their babies as they want, was very hard. I knew ahead of time he would be going to the NICU, so the fact that I was alone in the recovery room was no surprise. But it was still difficult. I couldn't sleep at all, mostly from stress, but due to the fact that someone is always coming into your room ever 30 minutes, 24 hours a day. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">After 48 hours in the hospital and feeling pretty well physically, I demanded to be released so I could at least be home with Adam and my parents. While many people would have wanted to be in the hospital, closer to their baby, I felt like I could actually see Aiden more if I was released. It was very very difficult for me to be able to see my son. He was several floors away and I had to schedule it with the nurses around my medication schedule, and Aiden's schedule and ACTUALLY HAVE TRANSPORTATION SHOW UP! I was not allowed to walk there on my own, and had to have someone from the transportation (wheelchair) department come and take me. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On the second night in the hospital, the baby in the room next to me was crying all night. My day time nurse had come in to say good-bye at the end of her shift to find me crying in my room. I missed my little boy and transportation had already told me they didn't have anyone that late at night to send to take me down to the NICU. Even though she was off the clock, the nurse insisted she wheel me down to the NICU, if not for me, than the fact that she want to meet my little boy. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">In the midst of some of the hardest times, you can meet the greatest people. </span></span></div>
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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-51112711969792045712011-07-09T19:09:00.000-07:002012-11-02T06:11:05.956-07:00What you missed while I was MIA<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So, for those that may have noticed, Adam and I have been fairly withdrawn the past few weeks. Our lives have forever changed during that time - the roughest of my life. We needed time to process and understand what is going on before sharing with all of our family and friends. It's a bit of a long story, so I guess I'll just start from the beginning.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>June 22, 2011- 29 weeks pregnant</b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The previous week, my kasier midwife had referred me for an ultrasound as I had been measuring about 5 weeks ahead of my projected due date. Going into our appointment, the worst thing we imagined was possibly having fibroids or a very large baby. We met with out very friendly ultrasound technician and got started with the ultrasound. After about 10 minutes the friendly technician got very quiet. For the next 1.5 hours he took a very indepth ultrasound, left the room, retook another ultrasound, brought a different technician back to redo yet another image. Once the ultrasound was done we were told to wait for a few minutes while they review the results. A good 40 minutes later, the ultrasound doctor came in and told us that they were transferring us over to labor and delivery. She said my cervix was dilated and I seemed to be having contractions and needed to send me up for observation.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Once up in labor and delivery, I was hooked up to a fetal heart tones monitor and contraction monitor while I waited for further word from the doctor on duty. The nurse who was assigned to me kept asking me "Don't you feel that?" and I honestly replied that I didn't feel anything other than the severe hip and back pain I had been experiencing the past few weeks. She showed me the screen she was looking at and it looks like a stormy ocean! Huge waves and ripples everywhere! I guess I had been having contractions, though never really knew it. They described it more as severe irritation of the uterus as I did not have defined contractions, with break between, just constant larger and smaller muscle movements, like a spasm in my uterus. I had felt tightness the past few weeks, but had assumed it was just ligament pain or my abdominal muscles reacting to my VERY large belly. I never felt anything coming and going, as I imagined contractions would feel. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />The doctor on duty along with a nurse came in to tell us the news. Baby Aiden had a condition with his stomach called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Duodenal_atresia">duodenal atresia </a>. Basically, the part of his intestine didnt form correctly or is somehow blocked. In babies with complete digestive tracts, the baby swallows the amniotic fluid, passes through his digestive tract and is remove from the uterus. Because baby Aiden has a blockage in his tract, the amniotic fluid had build up to extremely high levels, causing me to measure big (and look like I was carrying twins). I was told the maximum of what they would call normal was 15, I was at 33, more than double the maximum. This condition is called <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Polyhydramnios">polyhydramnios</a>. We were also told that this type of defect is highly correlated with down syndrome, with about a 30-50% chance of our baby having down syndrome. While the blockage is not adversely affecting baby Aiden now, he will require major surgery soon after he is born, to restore a working intestine. Until he has the surgery, he will not be able to eat or drink anything. He will need to go to the NICU, where his belly will be drained of fluid, and he will be fed intravenously. </span></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>The following week</b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />While we were kept very busy with appointments, we got more and more scared. We now had to worry about having a very premature baby, who would need major surgery immediately after he was born, and will spend at least 1 month in the NICU, and has a high risk of having down syndrome. I shut myself off from the world. I felt guilty for not being able to control my babies health, sad for the loss of my low-risk home birth (now will need to birth across town at a high risk hospital with a NICU), and very angry that it feels like I am the only one having a complicated birth, and on my first baby! I tried so hard to do everything "right" only to feel like everything is going "wrong".</span></span>
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</b>During the following week I was started on a medication to slow contractions, spent nearly every day in the hospital or doctors office to monitor my cervix and contractions, and met with a perinatologist (high risk pregnancy OBGYN). For the first 2 days, the contractions did slow down a bit with the medication, but was still put on complete bed rest. The doctor even told me to stay hydrated, but not TOO hydrated so as not to have to get up too often to use the restroom. With that much fluid, it was next to impossible to stay on bedrest. My hips and back felt like they were about to shatter under the pressure and my bladder felt like the size of a shot glass! I couldn't sit for longer than 10 minutes without feeling like I was going to scream from the pain. Sleep was impossible, other than the brief naps I was able to take sleeping sitting up in the foam nursing chair I had next to my bed. Laying down on my size was the WORST! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />On Sunday night, while putting together a burrito for dinner I started to feel so tight in my stomach that it was hard to stand up straight. I rested to see if it would go away, but it only seemed to get worse. Adam rushed me over to Kaiser L&D, where, again, got hooked up to the contraction monitor and was having fairly major contractions, even with the medication. They decided to keep my overnight and put me on a loading dose of medication to see if they could get the contractions under control. It was my first time ever being admitted to the hospital, but at least Kaiser had really nice rooms with a tv and a place for Adam to sleep on a recliner. They ended up putting me on the maximum safe dose of medication before my contractions were somewhat under control enough to send me home in the morning.</span></span>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />The next day (Tuesday) we were told to return to L&D to make sure my contractions were still under control. Well, hooked me up the monitor and they were not AND they ran a <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetal_fibronectin">FFN</a> test. If it had come back negative I would have had a low chance of delivering in the next two weeks (I was 29 weeks at the time). It came back positive, meaning I had a high chance of delivering in the next two weeks. They decided to immediately e transfer me over the St. Vincents, the high risk hospital (which will also be the . I was told to expect to stay there for at least the next few days while they decided if they were going to do an amnio reduction.After another overnight stay in the hospital, they did an amnio reduction in the morning. The reduction was no walk in the park. While the initial pain was no worse that what an amniocentisis would be, as the fluid started to drain, I started having severe contraction, nausea and pain due to the rapid shrinking of my uterus. By the time the procedure was done, they had drained over 2 LITERS of excess fluid from my uterus. This brough me down to an <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amniotic_fluid_index">amiotic fluid index</a> (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Amniotic_fluid_index">AFI</a>) of 22. Still very high, but took a good amount of pressure of my uterus and slowed my contractions to the point where I was able to go home.</span></span>
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Since then my contractions have slowed down to the point where I am off complete bed rest and able to just "take it real easy". When they did the amnio reduction, they took several vials of fluid to be tested to see if Aiden definitively has down syndrome. We were told that it could take up to 2-3 weeks before the results come back.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>July 7th - 31 weeks</b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>The Diagnosis </b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Today we had our weekly appointment with the perinatologist. While we were not expecting the results for at least another 2 weeks, our doctor told us that baby Aiden does indeed have Down Syndrome. <b> </b></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />The next few days were incredibly difficult for the two of us. While we had felt we had mentally prepared for the diagnosis, hearing a definitive diagnosis was very hard for us. I went through a lot of emotions wondering whether I did something wrong, whether this was something we could handle and a lot of feeling of hopelessness and despair about why we were so "unlucky". We had done the first trimester screening and came back with a 1:1000 chance of having a child with down syndrome. Our 20 week ultrasound came back with perfect results! Still, we felt like maybe we should have "known" better and pushed for further first trimester testing instead of assuming it would not happen to us.</span>
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At the time we had the first trimester screening, we had been asked if we would like further testing. Adam and I discussed it, and decided that Down Syndrome was not something that would change our mind about continuing the pregnancy. Little did we know how important that conversation would be. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am so glad we didn't pursue further genetic testing. At the time, I was already receiving a lot of pressure from the genetic testing department and received almost daily phone calls reminding me to make an appointment for the nuchal translucency ultrasound to screen for Down Syndrome. I was told it was routine for anyone who had a greater than 1:20,000 chance of having a child with Down Syndrome. I was reminded... repeatedly and with great urgency.. that my time to terminate was coming to an end. I got very upset and told them to WRITE IT DOWN IN MY CHART that I do not want to receive another phone call about genetic screening. We do not care if our child has down syndrome. If I had caved to the pressure and they had detected a high probability of having a child with down syndrome, I cannot say how I would have felt. I don't think I would have the heart to terminate the pregnancy, but I am not sure how I would mentally cope with the pressure from medical professionals to terminate. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />Through all the sorrow and dispare, Adam and I did what we do best, educate ourselves. We read through the book "Babies with Down Syndrome: A New Parents Guide", connected with a local chapter of the DS association, and LOTS of google searching on blogs and forums to connect with other parents who have had a child diagnosed with down syndrome. And cried some more.</span></span>
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<span style="font-size: large;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><b>July 9- 31 weeks</b></span></span></h3>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">During this time Adam and I stuck together. While each of experienced our grief differently, we talked each other through the hard times until we came to a conclusion.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />THIS BABY WAS MEANT TO BE WITH US. WE LOVED HIM SINCE THE DAY WE KNEW HE WAS COMING AND WE STILL LOVE HIM NOW.</span></span>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />Nothing has changed to make us love him any less. He has always had down syndrome, we just didnt know it yet. And really, what better parents than us (some tooting of our own horn is needed here). Baby Aiden will be born to two loving parents who work from home full time and will ALWAYS be available to give him unlimited love and attention. I have 7 years of experience working with children with autism using behavior therapy, worked for years in a special eduction classroom, worked as a adaptive PE assistance (traveled school to school providing amazing games and activities that incorporated both typcial and special needs children). His grandma (my mom, Jeanne) worked for 10 years in a special education classroom, and helped a lot of kids with DS. Like our doctor said, "It sounds like baby chose you well."</span></span>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br />In the mean time, our focus is on having our little guy the best opportunity to be a healthy little boy. </span></span>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">He still has a difficult and dangerous journey ahead of him. While my amniotic fluid is rapid building up, causing the pain, restlessness, and contraction to increase with each passing day, our goal is to make it to at least 34 weeks (just another 2.5 weeks to go!). Im mentally preparing myself to eventually return to bed and rest and for a likely c-section, as the baby is consistently breech, which is common as he has just too big of a "swimming pool" to move around in and has yet to have been in a heads down position. We are trying to keep on the positive, though we are human and have our moments. We have decided we have to be strong and positive and make sure this little guy knows he is loved and wanted.</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-8432743483000994632011-03-30T17:03:00.000-07:002012-09-30T19:41:37.300-07:00First kick!<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">March 30th - 17 weeks pregnant</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">We have spent the last week in Santa Barbara, CA for my beautiful sister-in-law's wedding. While the day turned out less-than-sunny, the rain held off until we were under the tents. By Monday, the sun emerged from behind its cover and I finally saw the sun... after months of Oregon rain! The change in weather inspired us to stay another week, but it also meant we have to take a ton of time at the hotel to stay and get work done. Its a bummer, but it has allowed us some time to go out and get food from our favorite places and catch a few rays and time with our family. My wonderful husband even took me to a local (and only) maternity store that sells new/consigned maternity and childrens attire. Having not have purchased or brought any shorts, this was a necessity as the temp is supposed to climb to 80+ this week and I was already sweating at 65-70* in jeans and a tee! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I don't have any wedding pictures or pictures of myself as I forgot to bring the photo transfer cable, but here is a few phone shots of Lake Los Carneros next to Adam's parents house showing the beautiful scenery after a winter of over-abundant rain... yes, even in So Cal! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">While we have had a boring/stressful day in the hotel room, we did have a first! While I had been feeling fluttering for weeks internally, I finally felt a real kick on my lower right side. I called Adam over quickly but I guess that all baby had in him/her. It was a pretty good one. I might be glad I am not feeling kicks as big as that regularly as when it gets bigger, it might break a rib!</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-45687990116034884152011-03-18T21:58:00.000-07:002012-09-30T19:42:36.700-07:00Victory!<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">March 18th- 15.5 week pregnant </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">It's been at least a week since my last barf/gag/dry heaving episode! Yay! I missed food. So far I have enjoyed my new found ability to eat by eating eggs (with digestive enzymes, still don't digest them well, but at least they are not making me barf), Chipotle (skipped the salad, went straight for burrito), Arawan Thai food (coconut soup and garden curry), pancake and omlette Sunday breakfast with the hubby, and make 2 pots of soup! The first was a cabbage chickenless soup with LOTS of chickpeas, and the second was a hodgepodge of stuff I found with lots of veggies, a couple cans of randon white beans I found in the pantry, and a cup of quinoa. With the quinoa it turned into a thick stew by the time it was done.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I took an updated picture this morning. I'm sucking in... I have to.. I don't look pregnant. I don't have that lovely bump-ish-ness just chunk-ish-ness. My upper abs are still a quasi 2 pack, and then it bulges out at the bottom like a alcohol loving sorority girl. If I don't look like I'm actually pregnant in a month, I'm going to get one of these shirts:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Or I can really make a statement with this one:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;"> Anyway, here is the updated 15.5 week picture:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Sorry for the creepy no head pictures... once I actually have a belly, Ill rope Adam into taking pictures with my head included. Once there is actually a belly to take a picture of. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Back to resting on the couch, watching cupcake/cake/food shows and finally breaking into my Chocolate Peanut Butter So Delicious Coconut Ice Cream that has been sitting in my freezer for 3 months. I've got a long day at the tack sale tomorrow! </span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-60669884670563006372011-03-09T13:04:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:44:11.608-07:00Barf and Boredom<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">March 9, 2011- 14.5 weeks pregnant </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Yes, I know. Long time, no post. Its been a rough couple of week with a few highlights thrown in there.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">First things first! I finally got to the point where I could take the "at home" home early gender test.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I know its not 100% percent, but its fun. While secretly hoping for a girl, I just have been feeling "boy" lately. Well, here are my results for comparison. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I think the results are pretty clear. While we know it's not 100%, it was fun to try. We have been searching for names for weeks now (at least its something we CAN do) and tentatively picked "Aiden Holms" if it does turn out to be a boy. We have been searching for a girl name that we like in case it turns out to be a girl, but have yet to come up with one that we like. Only 5 more weeks until we can find out for (mostly) sure at the 20 week ultrasound! We are planners and definitely want to know either way.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Other than that, not much has changed. Still nauseated, though its not as bad as before. I am able to get out of the house more, exercise much more, and get more work done. It seems though the more tired I get, the more nauseated I get, so I am still getting nauseated at night. Ugh. I still have to eat small portions, but I am able to prepare food now without dry heaving over the sink.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">As far as changes in me, not much has changed. I look fatter but haven't really gained any weight. I REALLY don't like this in-between just look thicker stage, but with my freakishly long torso and abdominal strength, I think I will be doomed to look a little thicker in the middle but in no way pregnant for at least another month. Last week I went to my first pregnant ladies meet up group for group pedicures and when I walked through the door this lady sitting in one of the chairs sipping wine asked if I was pregnant. I said, "yes" and she scoffed and said "well, you must be BARELY pregnant". I dunno, but 3.5 months of nausea and exhaustion, I felt like I deserved a little more credit than being "barely" pregnant. Well, even though some people were around the same due date as I was, I was the only one NOT showing. Oh well, there IS a BABY in there. We have heard a heartbeat, and the constant nausea is a never ending reminder I am still pregnant. </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">On the brighter side- we found our midwives! We had an amazing meeting with Carrie from Andaluz Water Birth Center. While we are not planning to birth at their beautiful birth center (30 minute drive or longer with traffic- can't imagine doing that in labor), they will bring a large tub, 2 midwives and an assistant or two to our house, which is only a 5 minute or less drive from the hospital, or less by ambulance. I felt very safe after meeting with the midwives. Just for everyone's knowledge, they will be bringing with them IV equipment (and trained in how to use it) but will only use it if absolutely neccessary, trained to minor surgical repairs in case of a tear requires stitches (PRETTY PRETTY PLEASE NO TEARING), trained in infant resuscitation, and monitor the baby as often as neccessary. They will be with me as soon as I feel I need the support and stay with me until several hours after the baby is born, have already nursed, prepare a meal for me, and make sure everyone is asleep. They will then return to check in on me AT HOME 24 and 48 hours after the baby is born. It will be one of the hardest things I will ever do, but I truly feel like I will be most comfortable birthing at home. I have done all my reading, weighed all the risks, and in my heart just feel like it will be a much better experience at home. When I think of birthing at a hospital I just think of the battle I will have to put up just to be able to birth and labor the way I want to, and comfortably, without a bunch of strangers around and away from the comfort of my own home and bed. One of the reasons I picked Andaluz is that I felt instantly at home with the midwife I was matched with. She was warm, carring, supportive, knowlegable and had birthed her two children at home, so she would know exactly what I was going through.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Here is their website:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">http://www.waterbirth.net/</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">If you click on "our midwives" my midwife is Carrie. I am planning on joining their 6 week class series. It seems like sooo much more than just breathing and laboring techniques. It focuses a lot on our mental preparation. What our fears and hesitations are. How we envision our perfect birth. How to bring the father into a supportive position and most of all, embracing our pregnancy as something our bodies are MADE to do, not a medical emergency. They do a lot of birth art, meditation and relaxation techniques. etc. It just focuses so much on empowering and love! They even have a class that incorporates love letters and blessing for the birth, touch relaxation, and even touch base in the last class on baby wearing, circumcision, nighttime parenting, newborn care and breastfeeding. They have ongoing classes for postpartum dealing with breastfeeding! I can't wait to start my journey with Andaluz! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Well, I think I have rambled enough for now. I promise I will try to update more often, hopefully with pictures of me actually looking pregnant!</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-12541389583404637552011-02-04T08:54:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:44:42.790-07:00Is the first trimester over yet?<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Friday February 4- 9.5 weeks pregnant</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, I haven't posted in a while, as not much has changed.. Im still nauseated.. Im still tired... not much changes in my body. I did take an updated and better belly shot this week. While no REAL belly is showing, I do have a funny point below my bellow button that was never there before.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Kind of exciting but I'm really hunting for it. If there is anything good about the nausea, it is that I ALWAYS know I'm still pregnant. Because of this bump, it seems as though my jeans are a little more snug around the button. Im not at all ready for maternity clothes, but Im thinking ahead. I already went ahead and bought several pairs of pants from ebay. GO EBAY! I got some great designer jeans at a fraction of the cost and close to the same cost as buying new pants from old navy or gap! Yay! Just because Im pregnant, I won't have to give up my sense of style, not that I really had one to be begin with. But at least I won't have to give up comfy jeans! </span></span></div>
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Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-85361811837761200382011-01-31T15:18:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:45:10.424-07:00I have the best husband... ever!<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">January 21st, 7.5 weeks pregnant </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I came home from the barn today to find yet another sweet surprise on our doorstep! </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Not that he needs to buy me something to show me he cares, but he knew I was having a rough week and didn't know what else to do. I cried.. again. It has really helped with my aversion to smells in the house. Instead it was overpowered by the smell of flowers! And its not just the flowers, he is being really attentive to me when he is done with work. Making sure I am comfortable, rubbing my feet/back. serving as a human pillow as I pass out on the couch. I know he is very excited about being a daddy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">I decided I would go ahead and start the barrage of belly pictures now so I can have something to compare it to as I progress.This is a terrible closet mirror picture but its a start. I lost a few pounds since my Monday appointment, not due to the stupid doctor, but because the dreaded nausea has hit me full boar. I FEEL TERRIBLE! Nothing sounds good and I can barely keep water down. I haven't actually progressed to vomitting, but dry heaving like its no ones business and food aversions to just about everything except apple slices. I am also wracked with hot and cold flashes, severe aches and pain, headaches, and the worst exhaustion EVER! I hope this passes soon!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">Ill take better ones later but for now, its for now it's time to go back to laying on the couch and doing nothing but whine about how sick I feel.</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-76920184537068943682011-01-31T14:59:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:45:47.942-07:00Did you just call me fat?<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">January 17th- 7 weeks pregnant</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: small;">So, its been another rough week. While I am feeling MUCH better than last week, its been a rough emotional week. I had my first doctors appointment this week with Kaiser. It didnt go well. Whether it was my pregnant hormone addled brain or I actually did hear what I thought I hear, I swore my doctor called me fat. Not directly. But still, fat. I had been avoiding weighing myself as I know I have been eating more than my scanty 2-3 meals a day and had not been doing my usual 2+ hours of work outs daily. I caved before my appointment and weighed myself... post lunch and very bloated. Ive gained. I will not say how much but I swear my scale moo'ed at me. Cry #2 of the day. After trying to dig through my closet for my stretchiest yoga pants I own I decided it was best if I cover my growing self with a big puffy vest and move on with my day. I went to the doctors appointment... alone. It wasn't that Adam wasn't willing to go, but we just figured this appointment was not a big deal. Some blood work, a run down of the million and one things NOT to do, a bunch of nutritional advice that did not pertain to me (drink TONS of milk and eat cheese), and Id be done. Well I was wrong. Apparently, though I was 100% sure of when we conceived, the doctor told me I was SOOO BIG that she thought I was another month along. She told me this could affect the whole pregnancy and that it could cause problems if I didn't do an early dating ultrasound RIGHT NOW and wheeled the ultrasound machine in. Now, Adam and I were planning on a minimum interference pregnancy, MAYBE 1 ultrasound after 20 weeks to mke sure everything was ok, and that't it. It is impossible to test the long term damage of many of the medical procedures that are performed on pregnant women these days. Well, I told her I am pretty sure we know when we conceived because we had tracked everything and also I had taken a pregnancy test a few weeks before the positive and it had come back negative. After some arguing about how it for the 'best for the baby' I caved. Well, I was right. I'm right at 7 weeks.</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-85877378726278029282011-01-13T15:54:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:46:17.135-07:00An Ode my Kindle<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">January 13, 2011</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Just a quick note to express my gratitude for my kindle (my Christmas gift from Adam), which I have promptly filled with many books on pregnancy. Here is a short run down of what I am currently reading or have read:</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">1. "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" by Judith Schuler- my take... fairly lame, unless you are a drug addicted HIV positive diabetic. Its supposed to be broken down by week and give you details on what to expect during that week. I am only 7 weeks into the book, but so far, find it pretty lame. The first chapters focus primarily on why you should not drink, do hard core drugs (meth, cocaine, etc), and how HIV can complicate your pregnancy. REALLY? I shouldn't start taking up shooting drugs during my pregnancy? Each chapter starts with one small paragraph on whether you should be expecting any weight gain and how big your little "speck" is this week and what is forming during this week. But other than that, it tells you the million and one things to avoid. It fails to tell you that in week 6 you MAY feel like you have been hit by a semi-truck loaded with magical sleeping powder or that the smell of EVERYTHING is just about the most disgusting thing you have ever smelled. It will also fail to tell you that even though you may not have gained any weight, you will be so bloated and crampy and your boobs have doubled in size in these 6 weeks that none of your tops or bras will fit.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">2. "Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine: This books gets a 2.5 out of 5. I found some of it to be informative, like a good friend telling you the truth (not the sugar coated version) of pregnancy. The good, the bad, and the really really ugly. Where she fails is to be non-judgmental. She basically stops short of calling you a complete idiot if you decide to go for a natural delivery and a drug free pregnancy. She fully supports using anti-nausea medication, and eating pretty much any crap you want during pregnancy, healthy or not. She DIRECTS the reading audience to get an epidural, instead of giving her opinion and letting the reader decide. A little in your face, which turned me off from giving it a high rating. I would read it again though and just skip over the parts I don't like.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">3. Just downloaded "Does this Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?" by Claire Mysko, Magali Amadeï. I know this is a taboo subject when you are pregnant. You are supposed to embrace your widening figure and stretch marks, but personally, this is really hard. I have worked for hours on a daily basis for the last 10 years attempting to lose weight and finally have what I would call an attractive figure and FINALLY wore a bikini for the FIRST time in my life in PUBLIC during my trip to Hawaii last summer. Im not ready to say screw it all and down a pint of ice cream and take the next 9 months as my opportunity to throw it all away. Not only do I believe that it is important now more than ever to eat healthy and nourish my baby correctly, but also to avoid unnecessary weight. Now don't go posting that I will be starving my baby, yadda yadda yadda. I never said I was NOT willing to gain weight for my pregnancy, I am just not happy about it. No where is it written I have to be happy about getting fat. I am going to eat healthy, and plentiful and maintain a healthy exercise program through the next 9 months, and read this book, because, to be honest, I'm going to need a little help accepting my new figure.</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-59714191633512610952011-01-12T09:06:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:47:34.394-07:00What the %^)#$^ is that smell?<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Wednesday, January 12th 2011 </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Random thought of the day. I understand the rational behind the pregnant powers of super smell, but really??? This is ridiculous. I went to the mall yesterday to buy some rooibos tea from Teavana (insert heart here). I could smell everyone's BO. People really.. I could smell the smoker from 6 stores away. The stinky diaper kid. The lady with WAYYY too much perfume. My saving grace was entering into Teavana. It smelled of nothing but sugar and spice and everything nice. I don't think it took much to sell me on about a pound of tea. It all smelled amazing to me. I bought a "Cocoa Praline Tart", a blend of figs, pears, macamadamia nuts, chocolate, rooibos and honeysuckle teas. I also bought a Tulsi Dosha Chai Rooibos with cinnamon, ginger and cloves! My two favorite smells though had to be the "Zingiber Ginger Coconut" with overwhelming amounts of ginger coconut and apple, and Pineapple Kona Pop which just makes me want to go back to Hawaii and never come back with its pineapple, apple, rose blossoms, orange blossoms, and just heavenly goodness. Sorry for the long rambling description of tea, but with my new found sense of super smell, its like porn... for my nose.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">(Pineapple Kona Pop)</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-86589942945321830442011-01-12T08:55:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:48:04.985-07:00I love needles!<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> Monday January 10th</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">So last week I had my second accupuncture appointment since becoming pregnant, and let me just say, its just about the best thing any pregnant woman can do for herself! I went from a balled up, emotional lunatic to a very calm, not a worry in the world sane lady. I felt less dizzy, less tired and was even able to get to the barn to ride!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">On that subject, Ill go ahead and set the record straight:</span></span></div>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes! I still do plan on riding. Its therapeutic for me. No, I wont be doing anything crazy like gaming or jumping later on in the pregnancy, but for now I feel comfortable with it. When the time comes I dont feel comfortable with it, I will stop or cut back. </span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes! I still plan on eating my (mostly) vegan and (mostly) gluten free whole food diet. I stand behind the fact that I eat healthy and firmly believe that while pregnant it is more important than ever to eat healthy. I had a blood test back in the beginning of December and came up a-ok for everything, including IRON!</span></span></li>
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<li><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Yes! I am still working out, lifting weights, running, and doing most of my normal activities. I found that the only thing that is alleviating my symptoms is good old fashioned sweat. I am not working at the extreme intensity I was before, but I am getting up, getting my heart pumping and feeling great! Its the only thing that makes me feel better. I am not running as much, due to constant cramping feeling and a pulled tendon in my foot that has been bugging me for weeks, but I am power walking on the treadmill at a -6% to 40% incline on my simulated hiking trails. </span></span></li>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I received a wonderful surprise from my honey this week! It was completely unexpected, but definitely needed.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">It also came with a box of chocolates not pictured here, because I ate most of them already and the box looks thrashed.</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-42169732269999600932011-01-12T08:43:00.000-08:002011-01-14T07:32:58.454-08:00And this lasts for how long????Monday January 3rd <br />
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So, Im back-blogging about my experiences as the weeks go by, so some of this might already be a little foggy (darn pregnancy brain).<br />
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If the rest of the pregnancy is anything like this week, its going to be a bumpy ride. Ive been struggling with severe dizziness, severe emotional mood swings and a sore chest. Im simultaneously hungry and having digestive issues. Im a complete mess. I can't go to the grocery store as I feel like Im drunk on a bottle of nyquil and vodka and can't walk a straight line. If a cop pulls me over, I swear he would give me a DUI- Driving under the influence... of pregnancy hormones. Being an active, do-everything, kind of person, this really irks me, making my mood swings worse. To top it all off... Im so bloated I cant get any of my pants buttoned, so Im confined to sweats. All of this together resulted in a lot of tears! Im still struggling with the thought of my "new life" and all the side effects of pregnancy are making it much more difficult.<br />
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At this point, I have told a few close friends. With all the issues I am having, they are either going to think Im a hypochondriac, or avoiding them. I figured its better that everyone understand what I am going through. Im not able to lift weight with the same intensity. I am so dizzy I can't drive to the barn to ride. Im hungry and eating everything in sight.<br />
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I'm hoping that this all settles out soon, so I can return to everything I need to get done. I guess this is just a forewarning of things to come. I've just had to come to terms that I will not be able to get as much work done as I need to if the computer screen wont stay still (dizziness).<br />
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I called Kaiser to let them know and see what the next step is, and they told me congratulations, take a prenatal vitamin, we are sending you an informational packet, and we will see you in 8-12 weeks. Ummm... 8-12 weeks!! Way to go kaiser and send an informational packet in lieu of actual medical advice. Luckily, I have been seeing a naturopath and an acupuncturist to deal with the hormonal issues I had been having in preparation of conceiving, and who also specialize in helping women through pregnancy, so at least I don't feel all alone (well, not as much so).Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-188705163399700048.post-8956182045368739832011-01-12T08:20:00.000-08:002012-09-30T19:49:43.295-07:00A late Christmas Suprise!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: left;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">December 26, 2010- 7am</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">At 7am, after a long night of seeing stars and feeling terrible, I decided to take a pregnancy test. Since my cycles are soo extremely irregular, taking a pregnancy test was never such a big deal. This morning felt no different. I took the test and went about getting ready to go for my morning run around the block. I brushed my teeth. I got dressed. Right before I left the bathroom, I grabbed the HPT and was half way to throwing it into the trash, when I realized there was no "not" in front of the pregnant. Hmm.... odd. Well, maybe its broken. Took two more tests, both confirmed the same thing. I started shaking. Unknown to many, but we had been trying to conceive, but personally. I didn't think I was capable due to some issues I had been having. Trying to conceive and actually being pregnant are soooo different! I ran into the bedroom and woke up a sleeping bear (Adam) and shoved the stick under his nose. He looked really bewildered. I dont think it was any secret, that Adam has had "baby fever" for a while. He constantly talked about having a baby. He got excited going to go shop for friends babies (a little too excited, and luckily, many of our friends have been recipients of this overwhelming drive to purchase baby items). It took Adam a minute to realize what I was really telling him, before he groggily said "Thats great honey." Another minute passed and woke up a little bit more and he jumped out of bed and gave me a big hug. He was sooo happy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Im excited for this baby, but like I said, trying to get pregnant and actually being pregnant are two different things. This is going to take some getting used to.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Will I have to give up my business and any career aspirations I ever have?</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Im so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING I have to do on a daily basis, how am I going to juggle having a baby too?!?!?!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I know its taboo to be anything but overwhelmingly excited about being pregnant, but Im writing this ti let other mommies-to-be let them know they are not alone if they feel the same way. And why shouldn't you feel this way? Taking on a baby is a MAJOR life changing event! Its natural to feel a little scared and unsure as to how you will measure up as a mommy.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Needless to say, I am still excited. I am looking forward to the next chapter in Adam and my life together. We are going to start finishing the 3rd/4th level so that it can become Adam's new office area/fitness area/theater room, so we can designate the 2nd floor as the kids area. I am looking forward to decorating the babies room (Bunny themed of course!) . Adding a new member to our family (yes, we count our critters as our family)!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Side note- Luckily I had been tracking my ovulation and put the date of conception at December 14th, which means I am due around the first week of September, more specifically, September 6th. The day before Adams (and my dad's) birthday.</span></span></div>
Allison Hhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08696404405447309142noreply@blogger.com1