I have the best husband... ever!

January 21st, 7.5 weeks pregnant

I came home from the barn today to find yet another sweet surprise on our doorstep!

Not that he needs to buy me something to show me he cares, but he knew I was having a rough week and didn't know what else to do. I cried.. again. It has really helped with my aversion to smells in the house. Instead it was overpowered by the smell of flowers! And its not just the flowers, he is being really attentive to me when he is done with work. Making sure I am comfortable, rubbing my feet/back. serving as a human pillow as I pass out on the couch. I know he is very excited about being a daddy.

I decided I would go ahead and start the barrage of belly pictures now so I can have something to compare it to as I progress.This is a terrible closet mirror picture but its a start. I lost a few pounds since my Monday appointment, not due to the stupid doctor, but because the dreaded nausea has hit me full boar. I FEEL TERRIBLE! Nothing sounds good and I can barely keep water down. I haven't actually progressed to vomitting, but dry heaving like its no ones business and food aversions to just about everything except apple slices. I am also wracked with hot and cold flashes, severe aches and pain, headaches, and the worst exhaustion EVER! I hope this passes soon!

Ill take better ones later but for now, its for now it's time to go back to laying on the couch and doing nothing but whine about how sick I feel.

Did you just call me fat?

January 17th- 7 weeks pregnant

So, its been another rough week. While I am feeling MUCH better than last week, its been a rough emotional week. I had my first doctors appointment this week with Kaiser. It didnt go well. Whether it was my pregnant hormone addled brain or I actually did hear what I thought I hear, I swore my doctor called me fat. Not directly. But still, fat. I had been avoiding weighing myself as I know I have been eating more than my scanty 2-3 meals a day and had not been doing my usual 2+ hours of work outs daily. I caved before my appointment and weighed myself... post lunch and very bloated. Ive gained. I will not say how much but I swear my scale moo'ed at me. Cry #2 of the day. After trying to dig through my closet for my stretchiest yoga pants I own I decided it was best if I cover my growing self with a big puffy vest and move on with my day. I went to the doctors appointment... alone. It wasn't that Adam wasn't willing to go, but we just figured this appointment was not a big deal. Some blood work, a run down of the million and one things NOT to do, a bunch of nutritional advice that did not pertain to me (drink TONS of milk and eat cheese), and Id be done. Well I was wrong. Apparently, though I was 100% sure of when we conceived, the doctor told me I was SOOO  BIG that she thought I was another month along. She told me this could affect the whole pregnancy and that it could cause problems if I didn't do an early dating ultrasound RIGHT NOW and wheeled the ultrasound machine in. Now, Adam and I were planning on a minimum interference pregnancy, MAYBE 1 ultrasound after 20 weeks to mke sure everything was ok, and that't it. It is impossible to test the long term damage of many of the medical procedures that are performed on pregnant women these days. Well, I told her I am pretty sure we know when we conceived because we had tracked everything and also I had taken a pregnancy test a few weeks before the positive and it had come back negative. After some arguing about how it for the 'best for the baby' I caved. Well, I was right. I'm right at 7 weeks.

An Ode my Kindle

January 13, 2011

Just a quick note to express my gratitude for my kindle (my Christmas gift from Adam), which I have promptly filled with many books on pregnancy. Here is a short run down of what I am currently reading or have read:

1. "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" by Judith Schuler- my take... fairly lame, unless you are a drug addicted HIV positive diabetic. Its supposed to be broken down by week and give you details on what to expect during that week.  I am only 7 weeks into the book, but so far, find it pretty lame. The first chapters focus primarily on why you should not drink, do hard core drugs (meth, cocaine, etc), and how HIV can complicate your pregnancy. REALLY? I shouldn't start taking up shooting drugs during my pregnancy? Each chapter starts with one small paragraph on whether you should be expecting any weight gain and how big your little "speck" is this week and what is forming during this week. But other than that, it tells you the million and one things to avoid. It fails to tell you that in week 6 you MAY feel like you have been hit by a semi-truck loaded with magical sleeping powder or that the smell of EVERYTHING is just about the most disgusting thing you have ever smelled. It will also fail to tell you that even though you may not have gained any weight, you will be so bloated and crampy and your boobs have doubled in size in these 6 weeks that none of your tops or bras will fit.

2. "Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine: This books gets a 2.5 out of 5. I found some of it to be informative, like a good friend telling you the truth (not the sugar coated version) of pregnancy. The good, the bad, and the really really ugly. Where she fails is to be non-judgmental. She basically stops short of calling you a complete idiot if you decide to go for a natural delivery and a drug free pregnancy. She fully supports using anti-nausea medication, and eating pretty much any crap you want during pregnancy, healthy or not. She DIRECTS the reading audience to get an epidural, instead of giving her opinion and letting the reader decide. A little in your face, which turned me off from giving it a high rating. I would read it again though and just skip over the parts I don't like.

3. Just downloaded "Does this Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?" by Claire Mysko, Magali Amadeï. I know this is a taboo subject when you are pregnant. You are supposed to embrace your widening figure and stretch marks, but personally, this is really hard. I have worked for hours on a daily basis for the last 10 years attempting to lose weight and finally have what I would call an attractive figure and FINALLY wore a bikini for the FIRST time in my life in PUBLIC during my trip to Hawaii last summer. Im not ready to say screw it all and down a pint of ice cream and take the next 9 months as my opportunity to throw it all away. Not only do I believe that it is important now more than ever to eat healthy and nourish my baby correctly, but also to avoid unnecessary weight. Now don't go posting that I will be starving my baby, yadda yadda yadda. I never said I was NOT willing to gain weight for my pregnancy, I am just not happy about it. No where is it written I have to be happy about getting fat. I am going to eat healthy, and plentiful and maintain a healthy exercise program through the next 9 months, and read this book, because, to be honest, I'm going to need a little help accepting my new figure.

What the %^)#$^ is that smell?

Wednesday, January 12th 2011

Random thought of the day.  I understand the rational behind the pregnant powers of super smell, but really??? This is ridiculous. I went to the mall yesterday to buy some rooibos tea from Teavana (insert heart here). I could smell everyone's BO. People really.. I could smell the smoker from 6 stores away. The stinky diaper kid. The lady with WAYYY too much perfume. My saving grace was entering into Teavana. It smelled of nothing but sugar and spice and everything nice. I don't think it took much to sell me on about a pound of tea. It all smelled amazing to me. I bought a "Cocoa Praline Tart", a blend of figs, pears, macamadamia nuts, chocolate, rooibos and honeysuckle teas. I also bought a Tulsi Dosha Chai Rooibos with cinnamon, ginger and cloves! My two favorite smells though had to be the "Zingiber Ginger Coconut" with overwhelming amounts of ginger coconut and apple, and Pineapple Kona Pop which just makes me want to go back to Hawaii and never come back with its pineapple, apple, rose blossoms, orange blossoms, and just heavenly goodness. Sorry for the long rambling description of tea, but with my new found sense of super smell, its like porn... for my nose.

(Pineapple Kona Pop)

I love needles!

 Monday January 10th

So last week I had my second accupuncture appointment since becoming pregnant, and let me just say, its just about the best thing any pregnant woman can do for herself!  I went from a balled up, emotional lunatic to a very calm, not a worry in the world sane lady. I felt less dizzy, less tired and was even able to get to the barn to ride!

On that subject, Ill go ahead and set the record straight:

• Yes! I still do plan on riding. Its therapeutic for me. No, I wont be doing anything crazy like gaming or jumping later on in the pregnancy, but for now I feel comfortable with it. When the time comes I dont feel comfortable with it, I will stop or cut back. 

• Yes! I still plan on eating my (mostly) vegan and (mostly) gluten free whole food diet. I stand behind the fact that I eat healthy and firmly believe that while pregnant it is more important than ever to eat healthy. I had a blood test back in the beginning of December and came up a-ok for everything, including IRON!

• Yes! I am still working out, lifting weights, running, and doing most of my normal activities. I found that the only thing that is alleviating my symptoms is good old fashioned sweat. I am not working at the extreme intensity I was before, but I am getting up, getting my heart pumping and feeling great! Its the only thing that makes me feel better. I am not running as much, due to constant cramping feeling and a pulled tendon in my foot that has been bugging me for weeks, but I am power walking on the treadmill at a -6% to 40% incline on my simulated hiking trails. 

I received a wonderful surprise from my honey this week! It was completely unexpected, but definitely needed.

It also came with a box of chocolates not pictured here, because I ate most of them already and the box looks thrashed.

And this lasts for how long????

Monday January 3rd

So, Im back-blogging about my experiences as the weeks go by, so some of this might already be a little foggy (darn pregnancy brain).


If the rest of the pregnancy is anything like this week, its going to be a bumpy ride. Ive been struggling with severe dizziness, severe emotional mood swings and a sore chest. Im simultaneously hungry and having digestive issues. Im a complete mess. I can't go to the grocery store as I feel like Im drunk on a bottle of nyquil and vodka and can't walk a straight line. If a cop pulls me over, I swear he would give me a DUI- Driving under the influence... of pregnancy hormones. Being an active, do-everything, kind of person, this really irks me, making my mood swings worse. To top it all off... Im so bloated I cant get any of my pants buttoned, so Im confined to sweats. All of this together resulted in a lot of tears! Im still struggling with the thought of my "new life" and all the side effects of pregnancy are making it much more difficult.

At this point, I have told a few close friends. With all the issues I am having, they are either going to think Im a hypochondriac, or avoiding them. I figured its better that everyone understand what I am going through. Im not able to lift weight with the same intensity. I am so dizzy I can't drive to the barn to ride. Im hungry and eating everything in sight.

I'm hoping that this all settles out soon, so I can return to everything I need to get done. I guess this is just a forewarning of things to come. I've just had to come to terms that I will not be able to get as much work done as I need to if the computer screen wont stay still (dizziness).

I called Kaiser to let them know and see what the next step is, and they told me congratulations, take a prenatal vitamin, we are sending you an informational packet, and we will see you in 8-12 weeks.  Ummm... 8-12 weeks!! Way to go kaiser and send an informational packet in lieu of actual medical advice.  Luckily, I have been seeing a naturopath and an acupuncturist to deal with the hormonal issues I had been having in preparation of conceiving, and who also specialize in helping women through pregnancy, so at least I don't feel all alone (well, not as much so).

A late Christmas Suprise!

December 26, 2010- 7am

At 7am, after a long night of seeing stars and feeling terrible, I decided to take a pregnancy test. Since my cycles are soo extremely irregular, taking a pregnancy test was never such a big deal. This morning felt no different. I took the test and went about getting ready to go for my morning run around the block. I brushed my teeth. I got dressed. Right before I left the bathroom, I grabbed the HPT and was half way to throwing it into the trash, when I realized there was no "not" in front of the pregnant. Hmm.... odd. Well, maybe its broken. Took two more tests, both confirmed the same thing. I started shaking. Unknown to many, but we had been trying to conceive, but personally. I didn't think I was capable due to some issues I had been having. Trying to conceive and actually being pregnant are soooo different! I ran into the bedroom and woke up a sleeping bear (Adam) and shoved the stick under his nose. He looked really bewildered. I dont think it was any secret, that Adam has had "baby fever" for a while.  He constantly talked about having a baby. He got excited going to go shop for friends babies (a little too excited, and luckily, many of our friends have been recipients of this overwhelming drive to purchase baby items). It took Adam a minute to realize what I was really telling him, before he groggily said "Thats great honey." Another minute passed and woke up a little bit more and he jumped out of bed and gave me a big hug. He was sooo happy.

Im excited for this baby, but like I said, trying to get pregnant and actually being pregnant are two different things. This is going to take some getting used to.

What is going to happen to the horses?

Will I have to give up my business and any career aspirations I ever have?

Im so overwhelmed with EVERYTHING I have to do on a daily basis, how am I going to juggle having a baby too?!?!?!

I know its taboo to be anything but overwhelmingly excited about being pregnant, but Im writing this ti let other mommies-to-be let them know they are not alone if they feel the same way. And why shouldn't you feel this way? Taking on a baby is a MAJOR life changing event! Its natural to feel a little scared and unsure as to how you will measure up as a mommy.

Needless to say, I am still excited. I am looking forward to the next chapter in Adam and my life together. We are going to start finishing the 3rd/4th level so that it can become Adam's new office area/fitness area/theater room, so we can designate the 2nd floor  as the kids area. I am looking forward to decorating the babies room (Bunny themed of course!) . Adding a new member to our family (yes, we count our critters as our family)!

Side note- Luckily I had been tracking my ovulation and put the date of conception at December 14th, which means I am due around the first week of September, more specifically, September 6th. The day before Adams (and my dad's) birthday.