Did you just call me fat?

January 17th- 7 weeks pregnant

So, its been another rough week. While I am feeling MUCH better than last week, its been a rough emotional week. I had my first doctors appointment this week with Kaiser. It didnt go well. Whether it was my pregnant hormone addled brain or I actually did hear what I thought I hear, I swore my doctor called me fat. Not directly. But still, fat. I had been avoiding weighing myself as I know I have been eating more than my scanty 2-3 meals a day and had not been doing my usual 2+ hours of work outs daily. I caved before my appointment and weighed myself... post lunch and very bloated. Ive gained. I will not say how much but I swear my scale moo'ed at me. Cry #2 of the day. After trying to dig through my closet for my stretchiest yoga pants I own I decided it was best if I cover my growing self with a big puffy vest and move on with my day. I went to the doctors appointment... alone. It wasn't that Adam wasn't willing to go, but we just figured this appointment was not a big deal. Some blood work, a run down of the million and one things NOT to do, a bunch of nutritional advice that did not pertain to me (drink TONS of milk and eat cheese), and Id be done. Well I was wrong. Apparently, though I was 100% sure of when we conceived, the doctor told me I was SOOO  BIG that she thought I was another month along. She told me this could affect the whole pregnancy and that it could cause problems if I didn't do an early dating ultrasound RIGHT NOW and wheeled the ultrasound machine in. Now, Adam and I were planning on a minimum interference pregnancy, MAYBE 1 ultrasound after 20 weeks to mke sure everything was ok, and that't it. It is impossible to test the long term damage of many of the medical procedures that are performed on pregnant women these days. Well, I told her I am pretty sure we know when we conceived because we had tracked everything and also I had taken a pregnancy test a few weeks before the positive and it had come back negative. After some arguing about how it for the 'best for the baby' I caved. Well, I was right. I'm right at 7 weeks.

An Ode my Kindle

January 13, 2011

Just a quick note to express my gratitude for my kindle (my Christmas gift from Adam), which I have promptly filled with many books on pregnancy. Here is a short run down of what I am currently reading or have read:

1. "Your Pregnancy Week by Week" by Judith Schuler- my take... fairly lame, unless you are a drug addicted HIV positive diabetic. Its supposed to be broken down by week and give you details on what to expect during that week.  I am only 7 weeks into the book, but so far, find it pretty lame. The first chapters focus primarily on why you should not drink, do hard core drugs (meth, cocaine, etc), and how HIV can complicate your pregnancy. REALLY? I shouldn't start taking up shooting drugs during my pregnancy? Each chapter starts with one small paragraph on whether you should be expecting any weight gain and how big your little "speck" is this week and what is forming during this week. But other than that, it tells you the million and one things to avoid. It fails to tell you that in week 6 you MAY feel like you have been hit by a semi-truck loaded with magical sleeping powder or that the smell of EVERYTHING is just about the most disgusting thing you have ever smelled. It will also fail to tell you that even though you may not have gained any weight, you will be so bloated and crampy and your boobs have doubled in size in these 6 weeks that none of your tops or bras will fit.

2. "Girlfriends Guide to Pregnancy" by Vicki Iovine: This books gets a 2.5 out of 5. I found some of it to be informative, like a good friend telling you the truth (not the sugar coated version) of pregnancy. The good, the bad, and the really really ugly. Where she fails is to be non-judgmental. She basically stops short of calling you a complete idiot if you decide to go for a natural delivery and a drug free pregnancy. She fully supports using anti-nausea medication, and eating pretty much any crap you want during pregnancy, healthy or not. She DIRECTS the reading audience to get an epidural, instead of giving her opinion and letting the reader decide. A little in your face, which turned me off from giving it a high rating. I would read it again though and just skip over the parts I don't like.

3. Just downloaded "Does this Pregnancy Make Me Look Fat?" by Claire Mysko, Magali Amadeï. I know this is a taboo subject when you are pregnant. You are supposed to embrace your widening figure and stretch marks, but personally, this is really hard. I have worked for hours on a daily basis for the last 10 years attempting to lose weight and finally have what I would call an attractive figure and FINALLY wore a bikini for the FIRST time in my life in PUBLIC during my trip to Hawaii last summer. Im not ready to say screw it all and down a pint of ice cream and take the next 9 months as my opportunity to throw it all away. Not only do I believe that it is important now more than ever to eat healthy and nourish my baby correctly, but also to avoid unnecessary weight. Now don't go posting that I will be starving my baby, yadda yadda yadda. I never said I was NOT willing to gain weight for my pregnancy, I am just not happy about it. No where is it written I have to be happy about getting fat. I am going to eat healthy, and plentiful and maintain a healthy exercise program through the next 9 months, and read this book, because, to be honest, I'm going to need a little help accepting my new figure.